THE
LAST BULLET . . . .
Morning:
The writer is preparing his upcoming novel for distribution and review to his
select group of beta readers when nausea suddenly surges.
Who the hell wrote this crap? he grumbles, his mouth still
crusted with sleep. Then he sighs: He knows the answer. Its whiskered visage stares
back every morning from a spotted mirror.
A pent-up
hiss whistles out his teeth. He moves on with his grim lonely work.
Butchertown, the writer’s novel, is
far enough along that he’s decided to send it toddling around the block to see
what the neighbors think. No matter the fear. No matter what they might do.
And
believe it, he knows very well what they might do.
At
night, the writer fears sleep, because there, underneath the black tarp, bad
dreams lurk, portentous nightmares of dismal reviews:
“Former
Local Hack Again Humiliates Hometown: School Council to Strike Burchfield’s
Name from Records After Literary Effort Flunks Literacy Test”: Peekskill News
Service
“If
you’ve been waiting for a revival of the Roaring Twenties gangster novel, wait
another ninety years. So bad, it’s the best advertisement for the re-institution
of Prohibition I’ve ever read.”—Single
Malt and Beer Monthly.
“It’s a
shame bad books aren’t printed on paper anymore, otherwise I’d throw this
latest crock by Burchfield right in the fireplace. Oh hell, guess I’ll take this
hammer to my Kindle instead”—John Pilcrow, Pushcart
Prize award winner (and real-life writer).
“Citing
Burchfield Novel, Congress Unanimously Passes Censorship Law; Obama Promises to
Sign. ‘We’ve Got to Do Something About This Flood of Bad Books!’ Says Speaker
Boehner.”
The
writer sincerely believes joking will help ease his anxiety.
That in
itself is funny.
WHAT BUTCHERTOWN IS ABOUT
The
writer now believes he can spill a little more about Butchertown, work up some anticipation among readers, both old and
new.
The
year is 1922, two years into the ruinous idealism known as Prohibition. The
place: a highly fictionalized Northern California. The hero, Paul Bacon, a young
up-and-coming junior assistant city attorney, glib fashion plate, and love-struck
Lothario, ferries across the Bay one fogbound Friday evening, about to step out
on the worst date of his life.
Through
Butchertown’s frantic, bloody pages race
dames sultry and devious, two motley gangs of trigger-happy mobsters, fatally obsessed
Prohibitionists, two-fisted brawls, and hair-raising escapes down endless
warrens of grimy alleys. The bullets fly, the bodies pile up. The air gets so
hot, even water catches fire.
Somehow
too, a love story flowers from the mud and grime, a good and offbeat one; or so
the writer believes, the sap.
Butchertown fits in a number of genres: Roaring
‘20s shoot-’em-up, cat-n’-mouse thriller, fish-out-of-water story, noir
mystery. Its roots lie in the crimson soil of Dashiell Hammett’s Red Harvest, sprinkled with the fizz and
spectacle found in novels and stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald and other Jazz Age
writers and journalists; and maybe a tinge of Eric Ambler for its coiled
viperous intrigue and the innocent soul who blunders into and through its
treacherous landscape.
Butchertown in no way mocks or brushes away the laws of physics, but it is a kind of horror tale. But,
as the meat-ax title implies, it
serves up a brimming bowl of horror. The writer is even considering warning
labels, and fears he may be forced to cover the eyes of anyone he sees reading
it, yes, even those of Stephen King.
It may
be a good sign that the writer is scared by his own book.
A FEW
FRACTIONS MORE . . . .
The second
draft of Butchertown comes to a
mere 263 pages, around 77,000 words. The writer hopes to trim
a few fractions more.
How did
it come up so
short this time? Simple: Butchertown
is told from a single, first-person POV over one extremely harrowing weekend,
from Friday afternoon to Monday morning. A single POV means tighter focus and
less plot juggling.
Of
course, shorter does not mean better, but as far as story and plot go, the
writer experiences waves of pleasure with Butchertown.
Sometimes
he actually says out loud (while alone), “The birth of my book is inherently more
interesting and exciting than royal queenly people birthing babies or whatever
it is they do over there.”
Yes, he
is that self-obsessed—He doesn’t even
care what they name the baby!
The
writer bets that crime and suspense fans will especially like Butchertown because, out in the world, what
the writer thinks matters little. Someone has to like his book besides him. Preferably
lots of people. Lack of readership is no indicator of literary virtue either, crabby
Bohos to the contrary.
As for
bestsellerdom, like his pleasure-loving hero, the writer knows there are better
odds at the race track. But he goes on writing anyway, for reasons that will
remain mystifying as long as he lives.
As for
more literary questions, there is the common quandary about to handle the plot.
The setting seems vivid but the author is frankly undecided about how much of
the real NorCal of the 1920s to use. As for literary matters of style—or
non-bad writing--that’s for the final baking.
Whatever
Butchertown’s current flaws, the
writer thinks his book is good. That’s
not a new thought. Now he needs some people to tell him whether or not it’s true
and what he can do to make it even
better.
And so
he reaches out to those Lucky 7, those readers, both writers and not, to get
their opinions and insights. You might well be one of them (yes, even you, vile Pilcrow!)
As a first-timer
named Robert Galbraith recently
found out, even great is not good enough. (The man got so desperate, the author
hears, he’s started passing himself off as J.K. Rowling!)
The author strokes his mustache,
then suddenly sits bolt upright, grabs his phone and dials:
“Steve . . . Steve King? Tom
Burchfield here . . . say, I got this book comin’ out in a while and I’m wondering
if you’d mind . . . you would? Great! I knew you’d be a pal!”
Copyright 2012 by Thomas
Burchfield
Photo by Elizabeth Burchfield
Thomas Burchfield has just completed BUTCHERTOWN , a 1920s gangster shoot-'em-up. He can be “friended” on Facebook and tweeted at on Twitter. You can also join his e-mail list via tbdeluxe [at] sbcglobal [dot] net. He lives in Northern California with his wife, Elizabeth.
Thomas Burchfield has just completed BUTCHERTOWN , a 1920s gangster shoot-'em-up. He can be “friended” on Facebook and tweeted at on Twitter. You can also join his e-mail list via tbdeluxe [at] sbcglobal [dot] net. He lives in Northern California with his wife, Elizabeth.
2 comments:
Thanks for several good laughs! That's a good start.
Julie
Anytime, Julie!
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